On a cold summer day in 2016, the League of Lakers was born. The group tried to have a fantasy football league a few years before but the league didn’t gain steam and dissolved quickly. The group of 12 piled in Markie’s living room, under blankets, and drafted on an Excel sheet. It was a completely different vibe than what the league is today.
Gian, Jordan, Nick, Greg, John, Keke, Ant, Matt, and Markie helped grow this league for now the 6th year. Each year the trophy has switched hands from Gian to Nick to Jordan to Matt to John. To many, the trophy isn’t what we play for. To many, it is before the draft even starts. It is for the grueling marathon of Beer Olympics. After year one where we drafted in a living room with no pregame, we decided that the only way to determine our draft order was to be the hooligans we are and do a Beer Olympics. The order of games have changed but the process stayed the same. Flip Cup, Beer Ball, Chug Off, Beer Pong. you and your teammate compete for the #1 spot in each game and at the end you add up the results. Within 15 minutes of the Olympics ending, our draft order is set and we are picking our teams. And if that doesnt sound intense enough, let’s flashback to 2017 where we had a party the night before for McGregor vs Mayweather, woke up, and then did an Olympics. Oh and how can we forget 2019 where we celebrated Greg’s birthday with a Tour de Booze in the Point Pleasant area the night before, and stumbled into the Olympics the next day. It takes a special kind of person to survive this league, to power through all of the drinking and in a snap of a finger its draft time!
One week before Olympics, at Dions Dreamers “You Already Shnow” Kickball tournament, the Olympic teams were selected. Matt & Gian, Markie & Jeremy, Henry & Nick, Ant & Keke/JoeRo, Jordan & Greg, and John & Lenny. On Saturday, August 28th we were lucky with some amazing weather. 75 degrees, cloudy with a light drizzle, with tents over the playing tables.
We started with Flip Cup. Three cups a player, alternating flips, quickly flushing a whole beer down to start. As you can imagine this is lightning quick, as all a team has to do is chug ⅓ of a beer and flip a cup three times. The finals approaches of Lenny & John vs Markie & Jeremy, and we assign Matt and Greg to referee. Makie & Jeremy were off to an early lead, and it looked as if they would coast to win the first event and the 6 points. Something then clicked for John & Lenny and they began flipping it on their first try! BANG! The final flips are in … Markie flipped it and it rattled around, and John flipped it and it landed flat like it stuck to the table. The winner is a tie? It was just too close to call and we were forced to a 1 cup a person playoff! After the suspense of a tie Markie & Jeremy blazed through their cup and ultimately defeated John & Lenny.
The drizzles have stopped, the sun is starting to come out, and it’s Beer Ball time. Beer Ball is a very fun game but nearly impossible to referee. There was a moment in the first game of Greg & Jordan vs Lenny & John that really warmed my heart. There was a controversial play where Greg nails Lenny’s beer and knocks it over. Barely if any beer fell out and Lenny might have needed to get a brand new beer. Greg declined that, being a great sport, and peace was reached! Greg on that play alone won the Sportsmanship Award for 2021. A person who probably came in last for the sportsmanship award was Gian. In a must-see finals of Gian & Matt vs Markie & Jeremy, Gian chased down the ball. In the process he rattled the table, knocking his teammate Matt’s beer, and his opponent Jeremy’s beer over, all because he wanted to nut-tap his bigger brother Markie while getting the ball. MAtt had to get a brand new full beer and now they were behind the eight ball. Magically, thanks to Matt’s slurping technique, Gian & Matt still came out victorious!
The dreaded Chug Off was moved to third, and this was a great move by John convincing us this. The Chug Off is the hardest event, so we used to make it last, but Beer Pong is simply more fun when you are turnt. There were some moments in the Chug where you questioned if that person spilled too much beer cough couch Ant Camp but overall it was a drama free event. John & Lenny got their revenge against Jeremy & Markie and beat them in the Chug. At this point you could look around and see who was hurting, and who was really hurting. Team Markie & Jeremy were in the top three in the standings and fading quickly.
We went to Beer Pong where pre-tournament Pong favorites Henry & Nick were matched up against Gian & Matt. This was going to be a tall task for Gian as Matt is only good for one or two cups a game in Pong. A huge upset happened where Gian got hot and carried hsi teammate. This was crucial because if Gian could climb his was to the top, his team would win the whole Olympics, or at least tie for 1st if they went up against Lenny & John. Just how Hollywood movies are set, John & Lenny run through their side of the bracket and face Matt & Gian. But unlike Hollywood, Gian couldnt carry the weight of his teammate any longer. Lenny went wild nailing five of the six cups, and they were victorious. This also won them the whole Olympics, where they now decided where they wanted to draft.
The final results were: 1st John & Lenny (21) 2nd Markie & Jeremy (19) 3rd Gian & Matt (19) 4th Jordan & Greg (10) 5th Ant & Joesro/Keke (8) 6th Nick & Henry (7). Markie & Jeremy defeated Gian & Matt in one last tiebreaking chug-off to win the silver.
The draft order was then selected and we rolled right into it. Between the fun music, the Plum Tomato pizza, White Castle sliders and Chick-Fil-A nuggets, the draft dragged on a little. Markie through us three curve-balls and we will see if they pay off. Nick Chubb being selected 4th overall isn’t anything that eye-opening, but Markie could have gotten him pick 7. What were the real curveballs was Henry Ruggs in the 5th, and Cam Akers in the 11th. Henry Ruggs is going wayyyyy later in all drafts so either Markie knows something or he overreached. The Cam Akers pick is unfortunate because he was a big target of myself, but the dude is out for the year. Whoops! Gian picked three Bucs again, going with Mike Evans, Ronald Jones and Tom Brady. He has missed the playoffs the last two years so maybe the Bucs trio can help him reach the final part of the season. Our reigning Champ John had some bad luck. He selected JK Dobbins in the 3rd round, just to find out a few hours later he will miss the season. Matt, who lost to John in last year’s finals, took Gus Edwards in the 8th who now looks like great value. This might be the reason why ESPN ranks Matt as the best team coming in, with the highest projected total for week 1 as well.
Overall Saturday was an amazing day. There’s nothing better than going from an Olympics, to a draft, to an after party. I’d like to thank Markie & Gian of 506 for hosting, and I’d like to thank the other 11 members for bringing great vibes on Saturday. Let the games begin, and let the banter ramp up! Good luck to you all this season.
Thank you,
Goose
Kowal's Korner 
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